The Lie in My Bones

A long time ago
man birthed from breath
dirt turned to bone
bone broken
into woman
apple eaten

and so began

the hymn of pride
the dance of shame.

It is the world’s longest game
Roll the dice
Pick a tribe
Pride and shame is the lie that starts deep inside.

Oh how I long for the day
before we were made out of clay
swimming in the mercy of deep

Before the evolution of feet
Before we came onto land
Before we grew legs and could stand
Before we asked the meaning of life

when we were just fish
swimming
because that’s who we were

Now made human
and we question why
second-guessing our movements, our thinking, our feeling, our seeing
engraved in our being

And then a man who transcended it all
who spoke parables, reversed orders and told us there was no Fall
Back there in Israel
where pride and shame ruled
was where it should have ended, on that cross, in that tomb, in the Pentecost of his womb.

But I am born in a culture
with blood deep in my veins
a pride and shame complex
that has taken me hostage
that binds me to pain.

Constantly.

So I pray
and I preach
I meditate on what pentecost means

and wait for freedom
from the Fall
in my bones, my blood, my being
and hope for a God that can free me from this season.